"The notion of men helping out in the kitchen is so incomprehensible to my family that even my own mother told me that we can't ask men to cook. Furthermore, most girls are even unable to question this standard, because they understand that the only respite their mothers will feel will be when they take over the reins. "Even though the boys and men in our family help out with serving food or laying out the table, the more complex and tiresome things like cooking and cleaning are primarily done by the women," Tahira says.
I think it is because of my gender," she comments. "I feel that there is an expectation for me to do housework in general and more so during Ramadan or other family occasion. Tahira Tasnim, 19, student at Viqarunnisa Noon School, encapsulates this perfectly. After studying for school and exams, they are expected to assist with the iftar preparation.
Her daughters, who are barely adults, are also expected to perform this labour. But when my husband or my children push away food because it's not how they like it, it stings." Homemaker and mother of three, Yasmin Nahar shares, "It's normal for me to do the cooking and all the housework even while fasting. If there's a rare day when the food is later than usual or not on par – when the lebur shorbot isn't sweet enough, or the piyaju is too salty – the annoyance, even anger, from everyone is made abundantly clear. I share some of the responsibilities of the holidays, but the bulk of it is still my mother's. After iftar, I have to cook sehri and so I get really tired," states 45-year-old mother of two Afrin Akther. "I come home and go straight to the kitchen to prepare iftar. Moreover, work resumes shortly after iftar and prayers, when they have to prepare sehri for the next day. In addition to office work, they are required to begin preparing iftar as soon as they return home, sometimes without even having time to change out of their clothes. Even though most men receive some relief from this, the workload for their female counterparts never truly eases during this time. To compensate for sehri and iftar meals, many offices have their employees arrive late and leave early.